Dear Gio and Gigi- 20 months

Dear Gio and Gigi,

I am almost at the point of not counting your age in months anymore and calling you “almost 2”. Like say what… I ALMOST HAVE 2 YEAR OLDS?!? All I can say is THAT is just cray. Just yesterday I was watching you, Gio literally crush Gigi in my belly on the sonogram screen and eat all of your sisters food in utero. Oh wait, Gio you still do that. Just after that, I was staring at you both sleeping in incubators hooked up to machines with IV’s in your little veins. I was holding you both so close to my heart I thought it couldn’t possibly expand any further. I was scared, sure… but somehow I knew in my core that you were born little warriors. Those early experiences made me realize that fear cripples us, but faith frees us. You both proved to me how strong you both are and not only would you be ok… but you would be GREAT. You grew and I grew in the process, day by day. And we had detours, confusion, fear, and joy all wrapped into one beautiful mess. And my love for you cultivated into something I can’t really even put into words. I know what you’re thinking as you’re reading this one day; my mother at a loss for words? Watch it. But honestly, it’s an all- encompassing, mind- boggling kind of love that has zero conditions and never expires. I will love you with every cell in my body until I take my last breath… not in a creepy- obsessed kind of way where I will manage every move you make And future- Gio prospects, fear not; I will NOT raise a mama’s boy. In the kind of way that I would do anything FOR you kind-of-way. You might not think it’s FOR you in the moment but I promise that is what’s going on. Remember life isn’t happening to us, it’s happening FOR us. Even if that means you fall and I don’t rush to pick you up right away. We will learn together when I need to step back and let you stand on your own feet, when I need to push you when I know you can do better, and when I need to dodge a bullet for you. I will always guide YOU to unlock the key to any question you might have if you want me to. Because I know you will struggle, I know for sure you will thrive, but most of all I know your unique experiences are and will shape you into the person you were meant to be. Your struggles will make you stronger but so will your successes. People will come and go into your life at the right times that were meant to be there for the right reasons- if it’s for a day or a lifetime, it was all meant to happen for you. Life has a funny way of working out when you just trust that it has your back, even when you don’t understand it. ALWAYS have faith and believe that something wonderful is about to happen- or maybe it already has but you just don’t realize it yet. You will leave such a beautiful mark on this earth that only God knows the power of. I sure as heck don’t know all the marks you will make and I won’t always have the answers. But don’t look to me for them because you posses all of them and even more within yourselves. You can and will do anything you put your mind to if you do the work. You two are enough just because you both are you. Also remember that we’re all in it together in life, so make sure you’re humble and kind, true to yourselves, and other people. Hurting other people to get what you want will always be a loosing battle… it might feel good initially, but it will eat at you and what goes around truly does come back around. You get served what you deserve. Be there for one another too; work as a team and don’t make me worry about that one day. You took your first breath a minute apart, so don’t ever forget how in sync God chose you to be.

As you can tell, I want to tell you so much but you kind of don’t “get” what the heck I’m saying yet so I had to get that out :). Now onto the here and now. Giuliana, you are a true fricken boss lady slash tough cookie…and I can’t even put into words how inspired I am by you. You figure out what you want and go for it FULL SPEED AHEAD. From the moment you laid on my chest for the first time, you somehow wiggled your way to my arms where you kept me at a little bit of a distance. Where as your brother screamed unless he was being coddled 24-7 by me… which again, hasn’t changed. Since that day, you haven’t stopped wiggling and your independence is a clear personality trait that I don’t DARE get in the way of. We have many differences already but I know we were paired as mother and daughter to learn something from one another. I learn from you everyday and I will continue to learn how to give you what you need as you figure out things for yourself. It’s already clear you will need the space to shine in your own way. You were literally born with this fearlessness and strength that is truly individual to you. Two words that describe you are WILD ONE. You run at a super-sonic speed that’s exhausting to watch and have ZERO FEAR. You fall, you get back up. You want something, you get it. ESPECIALLY if it’s shoes… you have a true shoe fettish and INSIST and putting your shoes and socks on every single day from the moment you wake up. If you don’t get exactly what you want, you knock someone down until you get it… even if they’re twice your size (aka your twin brother). We will have many discussions about this later, but we definitely have a lot to learn from one another, you and I :). Aside from your persistence, it is pretty interesting to watch how obsessed you are with routine. You LOVE having a routine like stories at bedtime/ pajamas on and getting dressed with SHOES AND SOCKS ON in the AM/ hair and teeth brushed and planned meal times/ vitamin times. You are a little.. well a LOT on the OCD side about these things and if they aren’t followed, you show me exactly what and how you want them done. You run and get the hairbrush and bow and scream “MOM!!!” and start brushing your own hair after throwing yourself on the floor and banging your head because you’re SO annoyed that I haven’t followed this regimen. You run and get Gio’s shoes and socks and start pulling his clothes out of the drawer and throwing them at me before your own. And don’t mess with the vitamin and breakfast routine… then and ONLY then are you ready to the start the day. And start the day you do full speed ahead… all before mama has even had her coffee :).

Giovanni, Giovanni, Giovanni. Mama Mia you are so dang charming Gio man, but sooooo equally NEEDY too!!! Haha… when you’re reading this, this will not come as a surprise to you I’m sure. If you don’t have your blanket, “baba” (bottle), and “wubu” (pacifier) while being held, then you’re SCREAMING about something… or laughing. Don’t really know which is going to come at me first but usually if you’re getting some form of attention, the laughing gets reciprocated. Anything to get attention, you’ll take… positive, negative, all good in your hood as long as it’s in the form of attention! God forbid you had a doodey in your pants for 2 seconds without you acting like the world has just ended. Whether you’re screaming or smiling, you have this contagious magnetism about you that takes over any room you’re in. I see the people- pleaser in you, I see the lover in you, and I see the hilarious side too. Oh that dancing dude, it’s a true talent. You got the moves like Jagger and you don’t even need music… you just start dancing even in silence….literally! You are a true performer and I honestly think you will take over any stage you want to in some capacity. Whether it’s with public speaking or entertaining in some form or even if it”s just telling jokes as others CRACK UP, you were born a star :). You have this light in your eyes that’s so fun and innocent. On a side not my almost 2- year old, you’re are an escape artist… umm literally. You find any door at any location and find a way to escape. Whether we’re paying $20 at a “playplace” for you to spend the entire time attempting to break free rather than playing with the toys at hand or slamming your sisters hands in the door, you will escape. You’re also still a mama’s boy… which I’m trying to get away from because I want you to be strong and well.. not be such a sissy. But even still, you make me laugh constantly :).

I love you guys forever. Thank you so much for bringing so much light and life into my own life!

 

Love,

Your Mama 🙂

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