I think Mother’s Day is one of those times we not only celebrate, but also a time to think a little bit deeper about our work as mothers. I have now been a mama for 1 beautiful year (plus a few weeks) and in reflection, it is so amazing to think of how far we’ve come. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing a year ago…(and I still probably don’t) but I am figuring out a little more with each passing day.
What we do as mothers, in every moment of the day, directly affects and shapes our children. I am reading this book right now, “The Conscious Parent” by Shefali Tsabary that’s really making me think consciously and analytically about parenting. For all parents and expectant parents, I HIGHLY recommend you pick this book up and read it cover to cover! You can find it here:
This brilliant book has the parent take a look at their own wholeness as a human being and shifts our traditional understanding of the parent- child relationship. Traditionally, we might think of parenting from the more authoritative approach, where the parent knows it all and the child must in turn comply- you know the whole, “Do as your told and while you’re at it, say ‘Yes Ma’am'” approach you may or may not have grown up with. This book gets us to shift our thinking from that way of parenting to creating a “parent-with-child relationship”. It gets us to think in a new way which in turn shifts our parenting. But I also think it goes a step beyond this… I think as individuals, we become more present in the process of reading.
I know what you’re gonna say… with your children being 1 years old, this can really change and therefor HELP you in the trenches of parenting? My honest answer to that is ABSOLUTELY! I’m happy I am reading this book early in the game, because I like to be prepared for combat and have a road map for where I’m going. I think without being prepared, we are destined to fail…honestly, I know it sounds harsh but I think it’s so true. Think of food….unless I’m prepped for the week with a healthy variety of foods to choose from, I’m going to be in that drive- through line or heating up a preservative- filled frozen meal when I’m starving and need something quick. It’s the same way for parenting… if I have the tools necessary for conscious parenting drilled in my brain, I’m going to stop and consciously think about the way I’m interacting and therefor, teaching/ shaping my children. If not, it’s going to be a train wreck… I can see it now; them both throwing tantrums (oh yes, the twin struggle is real, they somehow sympathize with each others pain…or maybe just want attention too, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet), screaming as they run off in opposite directions and out of desperation, I’m going to recite the typical “the parent’s the boss”go- to’s rather than consciously putting the care and thoughtful parenting strategies outlined in this book to work. I believe that our conscious, thoughtful words which turn into action are our life line. Words are so powerful and what we say and do directly influences our children…for the rest of their lives….yes, HUGE shoes to fill and MAJOR pressure, right? Well that my friends is called being a parent…it’s not an easy task and although it can feel thank-less at times, it is SO IMPORTANT and worth it to be present! . If we know how to think about and therefor handle situations before they arise or at least how to approach them, in a conscious way, we are doing our children and self a major service. Best of all, this will create a positive parent- child relationship for years to come- who doesn’t want that?! We all need to feel like we matter and are valued, right? This book made me realize what I know logically but is so great to put into practice… why should a child not be granted the same basic human need that we all crave? They need to feel like they have value, a contribution and a purpose in this world just like we do. I feel like I am more present, more in the moment, and more grounded as an individual as a product of reading and I invite you to share in all of the goodness that this wonderful read has to offer! Happy reading :)!