On the Eve of my 29th birthday, (I will be 29 in 15 minutes….) I anxiously await the moment I’ll say that I’m not two, but one year away from turning thirty. Yes, I still do in fact get that kid- like excitement to stay up until 12 AM the night before my birthday each year. I realize that I might sound like a complete odd ball for this… especially since I’m staying up solo to ring in my b-day since the hubs is on business. But at this moment, I have a chance to really reflect on all the beautiful chaous that has happened this year as a 28 year old. What went right? What went wrong? Have I grown as a person? Did I fail, make mistakes, and most importantly learn from them? I feel like if you screw up in your 20’s it’s totally acceptable, but in your 30’s, I feel like it’s expected you have your shit together. So for the record, I definitely don’t have my shit together… but I’m a work in progress, right? And I still have a year… technically?!
So when I reflect on 28, here’s what I got: I had not one, but two precious babies that I couldn’t even fathom not waking up to each morning and tucking in each night. They are my light, my world, my greatest joy and reason to be a better person every day. When I look at them I see parts of myself and Troy, mainly in their personalities that take my breath away. The way they laugh, the way they have inherently attached themselves at each other’s hip, and love so deeply gives me the world’s greatest joy. Gio and Gigi literally wake up and look at each other and smile. They can’t get enough of each other and it just melts my heart. Wow, do I find a way to obsess over the Tinucci Twins in whatever possible segway I can?! Sorry, about that…but I hate to break it to you, that’s definitely not changing anytime soon! So when I think of all the hard “stuff” we endured in my 28th year, I immediately think of all of the AMAZINGNESS that came out of it. The positives outweighed the negatives infinitely after what could be perceived as hard times like the high- risk pregnancy and constant scary growth scan appointments, moving from Chicago to NorCal while pregnant, Gigi being growth restricted (AKA Gio steeling all of her food… no surprise there!), the emergency c- section and 31 days in the NICU for the babies. When I think of the post pardom depression I had and the confusion with all the newborn eating problems followed by multiple lip tie and tongue tie “releases” I just think of one word…blessed. Because the hard times did really make me so grateful for all of the infinite blessings I now have. But at the same time, I’m glad it’s over and I can enjoy the fun times we’re in now (it’s still stressful in a more fun way if that makes any sense at all). So blessed that so many prayed, through the tears, the hills and the peaks, pitched in to give help and give love when we needed it. They say it takes a village to raise a child and my family really stepped in when we needed it the past year. I have angel babies that have turned my world upside down in the best possible way this year… literally, taken over ever single inch of our lives! Just to give you a picture, I have no kitchen table, no more lamps or candles out… these two little people have legite invaded and they invaded double time! For now our life is a kid zone full speed ahead but I love it. I love that they get to take over and have a blast doing it with their partner in crime.
In terms of my career as I approach 30, I would say my family will always come first. If the kids need me now or in the future I want to be the first person they can always depend on without a shadow of a doubt. But, I also love having a sense of self outside of motherhood and hope that as my 20’s come to an end, I explore my entrepreneurial nature and expand it much further. Although I was a teacher, what’s better than BYOB?! I have had businesses as a swim instructor and private tutor which I was much more drawn to and profitable from than as a teacher. This blog is a step in the right direction so I’m excited to see where it’s going to bring me and what I can share through my experiences in mommyhood. My goal before 30 is to also get back to AZ and open a swim school there so my passion for teaching swim and being there for my kids collide, but if you know me well… you’ve heard me say that 10 million times before!!
When I think about what I want for my future as a “mature thirty- something,” I just think plain happiness is my greatest intention. No matter what I have or don’t have, I just want to maintain a positive, content outlook. There’s nothing more beautiful than that and more precious. I want to continue cherishing moments with the little people that rule my house as they grow and shape them into good people, like I know they will be. I want to teach them to appreciate the small things, that life is too short, to be fountains not drains, to respect other people, and to make articulate decisions themselves.
Thank you so much for reading this lengthy tribute to the last year of my 20’s 🙂
P.S. It is way past 15 minutes by now… so yes I am 29 now!!